Disclaimer: I don’t drink. Nor do I live in the worst city in the world. It’s only the 9th worst in this country by last count. Not bad, but we could do better. We could do much better if it wasn’t for a man by the unfortunate name of Pablo Korona. (I’ve already written about him once, but that was before I came up with this slogan, so bear with me.)
Korona is a most talented soul in every manner except telling the truth. Honesty is not his gift. I have no doubt that fuzzy bikes, organic farms, Mars Rover engineers, and Emily Bear exist in my town, but I’ve never personally seen any of these phenomenons. Most of us can’t think about decorating bikes, planting vegetables, or taking piano lessons, because we’re all too broke or too busy looking for work. Yet Korona would have everyone think that “real Rockfordians” have it made, that we don’t need any government or charitable help, because this is the land of milk, honey, and space engineers, right?
No, it’s not. And no, I am not just complaining that it’s not either. I have plenty of ideas on how to improve this town, if anyone’s listening. I have plenty of ability to work for improvement, if anyone’s hiring. So this New Year, I resolve to keep my friends close, and my enemies closer. Any time Korona wants to interview me, he’s welcome to. I’ll be waiting right here with the truth.
My family all can’t stand this post. They think I am a bad reflection on them because I hate Wreckford so much. I pity them for having such a mindset. If they’ve really sank to the level that they are where they are (which is now the 3rd most miserable city in America) how can I do any more damage?