(Disclaimer: The following conversation did NOT happen at the small, residential-area library where I work. At least it didn’t happen word for word. Sure would be funny if it did though.)
Ring! Ring!
Good afternoon Win . . .
Hi, this is Ms. Longform with the U.S. Census. How many people live at this address?
None. This is a . . .
None? How many people frequent the address?
Well, ten staff members, eight Friends, six board members, and hundreds of patrons.
But nobody lives there?
No. This . . .
How many bathrooms do you have?
Four. This is . . .
How many computers do you have?
Sixteen. This is a . . .
Wow! So sixteen computers, four bathrooms, dozens of people in and out every day, and nobody lives there?
That’s right. This is a library.
A li-berry?
LibRaRy.
Does this mean the hootinanny’s off?
‘Fraid so.
Click.