Library Gets the Long Form

(Disclaimer: The following conversation did NOT happen at the small, residential-area library where I work. At least it didn’t happen word for word. Sure would be funny if it did though.)


Ring! Ring!

Good afternoon Win . . .

Hi, this is Ms. Longform with the U.S. Census. How many people live at this address?

None. This is a . . .

None? How many people frequent the address?

Well, ten staff members, eight Friends, six board members, and hundreds of patrons.

But nobody lives there?

No. This . . .

How many bathrooms do you have?

Four. This is . . .

How many computers do you have?

Sixteen. This is a . . .

Library computer users

Wow! So sixteen computers, four bathrooms, dozens of people in and out every day, and nobody lives there?

That’s right. This is a library.

A li-berry?


Winnebago Library

Does this mean the hootinanny’s off?

‘Fraid so.


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